And I will keep you alive
by Cyntarja
Summary: The idea came from a crackship I have on my Emma Swan roleplay blog on tumblr. I started playing with a friend who plays Myka and now we have this amazing crossover ship and we really love them. This is set after Myka agreed to start treatment. If you want to read more of them, just visit my blog: swanofroyalblood(.)tumblr(.)com


_**And I will keep you alive**_

Emma hang up the phone, her tears freely running down her face. She couldn't believe what just happened. A doctor from the hospital had called her and told her Myka, her Myka, her beautiful fiancee wouldn't even make it until the end of the week. Her cancer got worse and it would take Myka's last heartbeat. The blonde broke down in tears. She slowly let herself sink to the ground, holding on to the door frame so she wouldn't fall down immediately. This just couldn't be happening. They had wanted to get married, they had wanted to have a family together. And now that possibility was taken from them. It was just not fair. For the first time in her life Emma had actually managed to open herself up to someone. She had let her walls down to let her in. Myka, her Myka. Emma didn't want to believe that it was all over. They hadn't had enough time yet. All the time wouldn't have been enough and now it. And now it caught her off guard. They had been so happy only yesterday. Myka had smiled at her and told her how much she loved her. And now this should all be over? No, Emma refused to believe that it had to be like that. There had to be a way. Something. It couldn't be over...

Emma buried her face in her palms, a loud sob coming from her throat. This could only be a dream. A nightmare. Emma knew she would never be able to recover from that loss. She didn't want to lose her, she just couldn't. But she knew she wasn't sleeping and that made it even more painful. Everything that was left of yesterday was gone now that she knew that her fiancee would die. Her wonderful fiancee who had made her happier than anyone else ever could. She didn't deserve to die. Not now. Not like this. Emma just wanted to scream. Scream it all out and never stop. But now she had to be strong. For her. For Myka. She needed to be strong so the brunette would see that she could manage it although she was breaking inside.

She slowly got up and went to the bathroom to remove her blurred make up. The blonde looked into the mirror, clinging to the sink to prevent breaking down again. Another loud sob left her before she finally managed to wipe away her tears. She had to be strong. She needed to remind herself as often as she could. Strong for her.

Emma grabbed her car keys, having only one destination in mind. The hospital. She knew it would break her to see her fiancee like this but she knew that she needed her, now more than ever. She had promised her to be there for her and she would be damned if she broke that promise. She had to gulp back the tears as she was driving toward the hospital. They had told her that she was on the road to recovery and apparently they had been wrong. And it went so fast. Too fast. No, Emma didn't want to lose her. She had no idea what she would do without her. She didn't want to live without her.

When Emma entered the hospital she straightly went to the reception to ask in which room her fiancee was. „Do you have some ID?" the woman asked, looking at her curiously. „No, I'm sorry, I got a call and I immediately drove here. Would you please just tell me where she is?" The other woman shook her head. „I'm sorry Ms..." the stopped. Apparently she didn't know her name. „Bering." Emma just answered. The woman behind the counter looked surprised. „Oh, are you her sister?" she asked, looking at her computer screen, obviously bored of all this. „I am her wife and I swear to god if you don't tell me where she is immediately then there will be consequences for you and I am not kidding." Emma hissed. She didn't even care that she just lyed to her. They had wanted to get married so it wasn't even so far off. And now after her last words the other woman told her immediately where Myka was. „Thank you." she said and gave the other woman her sweetest smile just to show her disgust.

When Emma entered Myka's room, she had to gulp back her tears again. She looked so peaceful, sleeping in this bed, the white sheets around her pale skin. It was almost too pale but when Emma saw that she was still breathing, she let out a relieved sigh. She sat down next to her fiancee, taking her hand and giving a soft kiss to her knuckles. „I am here, baby, I am here now." she whispered and couldn't hold back a sob. Hot tears dropped on the back of the brunette's hand as Emma leaned her forehead against it. She didn't want to let go. Myka didn't deserve this. She was the most wonderful woman she had ever met and she had given her the happiest months of her life, that was for sure. And now she was sitting here, next to her bed, basically only waiting for her to die although all she wanted was to take everything away from her. „I should be the one lying there, not you." she whispered, meaning every single word of what she said.

„Emma..." The blonde looked up as she heard her fiancee saying her name. Her voice was breaking. Emma could see that she was getting weaker and weaker. „Hey..." the blonde said softly, giving her a sad smile, the tears still running down her face. „I'm sorry. I know I promised you..." Emma interrupted her. „Shhh. Please. It's okay..." she whispered. No, nothing was okay but she had promised her she would be there for her. She had promised her she would always love her and do everything to take the pain away from her. „Sleep, darling. You need it." she said, clearing her throat so her voice wouldn't break as well. Myka nodded, giving her a soft smile. „Emma?" she asked weakly. „Yes, love?" Emma looked up. „Kiss me. Please." the brunette whispered and Emma nodded. She wanted to grant her the love of her life every wish she might had. The blonde slowly stoop up, leaning over the bed and softly pressed a soft but passionate kiss to the other woman's lips while cupping her cheek softly. „I love you so much." Myka said, her beath heavy because she didn't have much energy anymore. She got weaker and weaker and it broke Emma's heart to see her like this. The blonde pressed her lips against her fiancee's forehead and whispered. „I love you too. I will always love you, don't forget that." she said and looked into her beautiful emerald eyes, giving her a soft smile. „Now sleep. I will be here when you wake up." she added and Myka nodded before she closed her eyes and drifted into sleep again.

When Emma noticed that she was asleep she slowly got up from her chair. She had made her decision. She would save Myka. She had promised her she would save her and she would keep her promise. Emma looked back at her sleeping fiancee one last time before she left the room and literally ran to her car, knowing exactly where she had to go.

Once she had reached the Warehouse and entered it she saw Claudia sitting at her desk, looking something up in the internet. „Claudia." Emma said and smiled sadly. The redhead understood immediately and nodded. „Is it time?" she asked and Emma just nodded. „I will show you where you find it." Claudia said and Emma nodded again. They silently walked through the Warehouse until they reached one particular artifact. Claudia put on her purple gloves before she reached for it and wrapped it in a small cloth. „There you go, Em." she said, giving her a sad smile before she handed it to the blonde. „Thank you, Claude." Emma cleared her throat, trying to gulp back her tears before she wrapped her arms around the redhead and pulled her into a hug. „For everything I mean. Tell Artie and Pete that I'm sorry." she said as she pulled back and reached her hand so softly wipe away a tear on the young girl's face. Claudia nodded and sobbed once. "It was nice having you on the team, Agent Swan, almost Bering." she said, knowing exactly what this meant. "And it was nice to be on the team, Agent Donovan." she said with a smile, softly poking the girl's nose to cheer her up a little bit. "Take care of her, okay?" the blonde asked and Claudia nodded, sobbing once more. "I'll miss you..." the girl said before she hugged her once more and let Emma go to do what she had planned to do if Myka's cancer ever got bad enough to kill her.

And now that exactly this had happened, Emma knew what she had to do. She had talked this through with Claudia over and over again and now she was completely sure what she had to do. The blonde put the artifact into her purse so that no nurse or doctor would have the chance to see this. Emma entered the hospital, being relieved as she saw that the brunette was still sleeping when she entered the room. She closed the door behind her and sat down next to her fiancee again, pulling a little notebook and a pen out of her purse. She had prepared everything just in case this would happen. In case she was going to lose her. She had put photos into the notebook from happier days. Days where they had only been taking long walks, hand in hand, always refusing to be away from one another. Pictures of them kissing, cuddling, fooling around, laughing. A few pages contained notes, little poetrys or songs Emma had written for Myka. Stuff she had never seen until now. The only page she hadn't wrote or put any pictures in yet was the very first page. She had wanted to save it if this day would ever come.

Emma opened the first page and started to write...

_Myka, my beautiful darling,_

_I wish I wouldn't have to write these pages. It only means that I didn't see another opportunity to help you or that I couldn't help you without doing what I am doing now. _

_There will be days where I will meet you on the other side and I will be waiting for you, I promise. I will wait for you and I don't care how long it will take because I love you and I would do everything for you. Ironic that I'm actually proving that I'd do everything...and I'm proving it right now. You are the most wonderful person I have ever met, Myka, and I want you to be happy, okay? Find someone who loves you the way I do, you deserve it. Please take the artifact back to the Warehouse, I will put it in my purse again once I am done - __Mary Mallon's Butcher Knife*__. Forgive me that I wasn't able to find another way._

_I will always be waiting for the day where I meet you on the other side and I promise you, I will watch over you until this day comes. I will always be here. I promised you that and I am keeping that promise. Well, have you ever seen me not keeping a promise?_

_Please forgive me. But I will not be able to come home with you again. Forgive me for what I have to do to keep you safe, to keep you alive, just like I promised. I promised I would fix this, and I am fixing it by doing what I am doing now._

_The months we had were the happiest of my life and you deserve to know that nobody could have made me as happy as you did. Even if you didn't have the chance to make me Mrs Bering – in my heart I am already yours and I will always be._

_Even though I am practically the sacrifice here, I don't care. I don't care because I love you more than everything in this world, even more than my own life._

_Be happy, my love. You will be Pete's partner again, you will find lost artifacts and bring them to the Warehouse and save the day like you did a couple of months ago, I know you will. Think about me and do it for me. Live for me. Love for me and let me live on through you. Promise me that?_

_I will always love you, Myka.  
Please don't forget that.  
Don't forget me._

_Yours always,_

_Emma Swan / almost Bering._

Emma knew that this would be her last words to her fiancee. She knew that once she did what she was about to do it would all go very fast – a side effect of the artifact. She had studied what it did and what it could do. And what it definitely would do. It would speed everything up and she probably wouldn't even have minutes after she was finished.

She left the room for a second, only to give the notebook to a nurse, telling her to give it to her 'wife' if something happened to her. The other woman just gave her an odd look before she nodded once and took the notebook with her.

Emma entered her fiancee's room again, walking toward her purse before she took Mary Mallon's Butcher Knife and stepped next to the bed where the brunette was still sleeping peacefully. She slowly leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss on her forehead again, whispering her last "I will always love you".

She opened Myka's hand, placing the knife in her hand, while she was still holding the sharp end of the knife. She could feel it taking over her immediately. Emma had often been whammied by an artifact before but this was different. She could feel Myka's disease taking over her, becoming the ruler of her mind and body and she felt herself growing weaker. She kept her gaze on Myka, satisfied when she saw that her fiancee began to breathe steadily again, her skin not being as pale as it was before anymore. Emma felt that she was almost breaking down, the disease fully controlling her now. She turned around to put the knife back into her purse again, just like she had wrote it in her letter. After she completed that last mission, she allowed herself to finally collapse, not being able to keep her eyes open anymore. She made it. She had kept her promise. She had saved the woman she loved. A small smile played on her lips when she finally closed her eyes for the last time, knowing that her almost-wife would be able to stay alive and be happy.

When Myka woke, she looked around for a second and sat up. Hadn't Emma said she would be here when she woke up? She wasn't. Myka looked down at her hands for a moment. They looked so...healthy. And she was able to breathe again. Did that mean she actually would have some more time? Some more time with Emma? And if it was only a few days, Myka would be happy for every minute she'd have with her beautiful blonde fiancee.

A nurse walked into the room. Myka had never seen her before but she noticed the sad smile on her face and she immediately knew that something was wrong. When the nurse reached her, she just gave her a notebook before she cleared her throat and swallowed once. "She asked me to give you this...just in case." she said, her voice hoarse. "I will just...give you a moment." the nurse said before she left the room. Myka stared at the notebook, knowing exactly what it meant.

_I will keep you alive, if it is the last thing I do._

She had kept her promise.

***Mary Mallon's Butcher Knife: **The artifact that gave Mallon her infamous nickname "Typhoid Mary", it transfers any disease or injury the holder has to another person holding the knife at the same time.


End file.
